A Lonely Designer
There is a rumour everywhere and has been going for many years. About an artist or creative people only works on slow and quiet nights.
Even one of the speakers in a design conference I attended back in 2019, mentioned the situation when the artists working at night was just a time that they created to focus. Meaning they also can focus on the daytime, only there is no interruption just like at night when people are asleep.
The idea of creating a focus time struck me, then applied to my daily life. So when I need time to focus working on a project, I intend to arrive early at the office, just to have three focus hours before an interruption from meetings, present idea to stakeholders, colleagues asking to have a quick discussion, mingling with team members to arguing which coffee we should try today, or unstoppable replying Slack chats.
The focus time plan was great!
It works!
Until the pandemic arrives and changes humanity’s way of working. We are all forced to work from home. A place I used to rest after a busy tough day at the office. A place where I could put on any clothes while streaming YouTube a story about a man who lives alone in a ghost town before going to bed.
Ok, at first working from home was nice. Waking up knowing I don’t have to struggle through the madness of traffic jams just to have arrived at the office early. Waking up pretty late and still managing to brush my teeth ten minutes before the meeting started. I could wear my pyjamas short while brainstorming with my colleagues online. And yes, I have my focus time for a whole day! Because I am alone all the time!
Noticing that the situation probably will last longer than expected. I decided to stay with my best friends for some time. Not because I dislike being alone, I love being alone, it is my free time that I used to make for my own wellbeing. Because I have one question in my mind at that moment, why am I feeling lonely almost every single working day?
My best friends are wonderful human beings. He understands my working time is 10 AM until 5 PM sometimes until 7 PM. He also knows if I get tired of working and surfing Instagram for a couple of minutes, then shows him a funny post, he will laugh at it. Or when I’m suddenly whining for an Ice cream just because the weather was unbearable to keep working.
However, the lonely feeling is still there.
Since I am a designer, my job is to offer a solution for the user, which usually starts with research. So, I started a little research on my best friends and some of our friends in a form of catching up on our lives during the pandemic on Google Hangout.
My friends and I have a diverse background. Some of them are working in the company before the pandemic, some of them are joining a company during the pandemic, so they haven’t met their teammates in person.
I started the conversation with my story and how I still feel lonely even though I have my best friends near me twenty-four hours. Sometimes I am quite amazed by the power of storytelling. Then one by one they are opening up their story.
Those who are joining a company during the pandemic are struggling to know the culture of the team. Yes, they have been through discussion and meeting with their teammates, yet, when they are only having a conversation by messaging each other on Slack. They use lots of emojis because they are afraid the tone of the message is reading like it is sarcasm or in a negative tone, on the other side, they want to be seen as a funny, friendly, and lovely person.
In another story, for those who are still in the same company before and while the pandemic has arrived. Mention some of their colleagues are changes. Since the collaboration is hanging on internet connection and power lines. To be online, in front of their laptop, reply to every message no longer than ten minutes, those are things that become crucial for them in an act of working.
After the online catch up with some friends. I start realising… I miss working from the office, so bad.
I miss having an excuse to get another coffee in the pantry in the afternoon. While what I actually did was take ten minutes of free time, then have a conversation about delicious cookies with colleagues who happened to be enjoying their free time as well.
Casually asking my colleagues to continue working at the coffee shop near the office, just because we need a revelation from a bitter meeting we have been through or knowing there is no meeting until the end of the working hour.
Listen to a colleague’s story about how awkward he was, noticing everyone staring at him at the bus stop, just because he has different skin, hair, and eyes colour than everybody else. While we are in an empty elevator when both of us are about to go to the next meeting after finishing with one.
Laughing about a crazy idea on our mind to solve design problems in a relaxed discussion in a little park behind the office, while enjoying an ice cream that we brought from the minimarket during lunchtime and feeling the wind breeze in our ears.
I even miss the sudden discussion from colleagues about one task that interrupted me from finishing another task. Yes, I need a focus time working by myself without any interruption. Yet, for me, working is not about how I finish my job alone. It is a form of a process involving many people endlessly discussing, interacting, understanding colleagues’ mindset and being present. Working becomes my natural human creature in socializing.
What I miss the most is, planning to work from home or remotely because I am seeking a different environment of working. From formal working at the office to have a slightly relaxed working, which I know can reduce my productivity. Then I will be refreshed going back to the office on the next day, realizing everyone that I needed to collaborate with will only be five feet away to complete me in working and finish my job.
That way, probably, I won’t feel lonely all the time.
During the pandemic Covid-19, I have been working in a company working from the office and switched to working from home. After quit the job, I have been joined many different organizations and companies, and never met my colleagues personally.
I believe many people out there experience the same thing as I do. So, I am alone and you are alone, but we are all alone in this together. What a nice phrase to put!
I hope the world will return to normal again someday. So we could have a nice karaoke night with our colleagues to get to know each other personality, maybe we can become best friends along the way.
Lastly, thank you for reading my story. Feel free to leave your thoughts on my Twitter or follow my artwork on Instagram, I sometimes share silly stories of my life there.
Keep your health and have a great life!
